Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Randomize
