he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
