That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
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