u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize