do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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