Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Randomize
