Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Randomize
