I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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