My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
We left an ass print on the piano.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
