): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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