Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
