my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
