Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
