Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize