I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
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