so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize