no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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