is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
