i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Randomize
