do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Randomize
