What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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