have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
i think i have herpe
just one?
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
