JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
