he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Four minutes until I can fart!
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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