Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
