dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
