Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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