her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
