Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize