Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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