i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
