So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
