Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize