Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
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