You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I checked into jail on foursquare
we're making bets on your personal life
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
