Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
