I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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