watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Randomize
