They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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