Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
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