Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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