I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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