you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
