So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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