i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
