We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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