Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize