oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
