TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
