Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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