If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
