shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
She said her name was "party"
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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