eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
