would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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