I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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