it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
farters have to be the big spoon...
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
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