i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
