STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
