I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
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