Rock
Scissors
Fuck
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
