Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
