Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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